i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
