HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
