The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
