cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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