I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize