I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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