She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
