I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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