you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
