I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
