Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Randomize
