It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
