I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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