"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
