id be glad to
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
