Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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