I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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