yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
