I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I'm always down for nudity.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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