Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
