thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
