Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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