My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
