I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize