I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
