He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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