Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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