I love black thongs
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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