he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
