he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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