nut hugger
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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