I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize