Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
