how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
