Everything about him screamed your future.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
