I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just gargled with NyQuil
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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