i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
