wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Randomize
