I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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