Kiss
Puke
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
