i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
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I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
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That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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