Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my phone needs a breathalizer
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
