My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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