somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
