she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
