quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Randomize
