Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Pooping to opera.
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