Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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