Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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