Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
