is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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