? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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