After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize