I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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