just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
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I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
