Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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