she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
