apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
