Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
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You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize