i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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