i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
