she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
