Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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