So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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