i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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