Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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