I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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