i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
