good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
