I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize