A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
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I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
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You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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