stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
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