Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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